where there just seems like a million things to do and nowhere near enough time to get them done AND everything that you planned just goes out the window for one reason or another.
Gpa's funeral is next Tuesday and it just happens to be on an afternoon that I had taken off anyway - but so I could have the internet guy come and I could finally get my name change on my passport sorted out. So I have had to reschedule all of that. I absolutely hate not having a job where I can just take half an hour out of the day to do those administrative things that are required to be done in working / business hours.
It is Mark and my First wedding anniversary next week (the 27th) and I was really hoping to be able to go away for the weekend. But with everything that has been going on and still trying to get the house all set up and pressing things done I think we are just going to stay here and go out for dinner somewhere instead. Save going away for a time when we can both really enjoy it. I just don't think that I will enjoy a three hour drive for an overnight stay and it will feel all rushed and like we are doing it just for the sake of it.
I am a bit dissapointed but I figure - sometimes you have to put things into perspective so that you dont do something just for the sake of it and then have bad memories because it wasn't as good as you had hoped.
So - if anyone can recommend me a beautiful 5 star experience restaurant in Canberra - I am all ears!
I guess we are also a bit stressed because everything we are doing right now feels like it is costing so much money. no money is going into true savings - it is all either being spent on the house or going away for the baby. Perhaps this is what is goingto be like from now on?
I have decided to start buying things for the baby's room and the baby so that I can just get it all done and out of the way. I am going to make an excel spreadsheet and list it all down and then I can tick it off methodically as it is done.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Day Off
I am pretty lucky as I get an RDO once a fortnight. Today is my fortnightly day off and its a good thing too because I am feeling quite ordinary today.
My feet have been hurting this past two weeks - a lot. Considering that I have a job where I walk all day long this is not really making my life much fun at the moment. I basically get home and just want to sit and put my feet up.
Today however it feels twice as bad as normal and I haven't even done as much walking as I normally would. I still have one more erand to do and I really don't want to go out again.
So far today I have been and put an order in for the comfy chair for the baby's room, been to the maternity shop and bought two comfortable pairs of work pants in black, looked at a fabric store and bought some more veggie plants - a capscum, zucchini and an eggplant.
But I am feeling very large and uncomfortable and I know that it is only going to get worse.
Mark's Grandfather - who broke his leg and went into Kidney failure about 4 weeks ago - died ysterday. So grandpa Eric - may you rest in peace with your beloved wife francis.
My feet have been hurting this past two weeks - a lot. Considering that I have a job where I walk all day long this is not really making my life much fun at the moment. I basically get home and just want to sit and put my feet up.
Today however it feels twice as bad as normal and I haven't even done as much walking as I normally would. I still have one more erand to do and I really don't want to go out again.
So far today I have been and put an order in for the comfy chair for the baby's room, been to the maternity shop and bought two comfortable pairs of work pants in black, looked at a fabric store and bought some more veggie plants - a capscum, zucchini and an eggplant.
But I am feeling very large and uncomfortable and I know that it is only going to get worse.
Mark's Grandfather - who broke his leg and went into Kidney failure about 4 weeks ago - died ysterday. So grandpa Eric - may you rest in peace with your beloved wife francis.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Forgetting how...
I have a theory that when we haven't done something for a while, that we kind of forget how - and in saying that I don't mean that we forget how to do it - but that we forget how to have confidence in our ability to do it.
For example.
I have a very large make up collection, I used to quite enjoy experimenting with different shades and all that. I especialy loved putting it all on and feeling great on the weekends when we went out places. For some reason I stopped doing that a little while back - I guess that I just stopped being bothered about doing it. mark is a very unfussy person and I felt the need to be a little more uncomplicated!
So last weekend, after I had been to the hairdresser and on my way to the wedding I thought I would just ask if any of the make up counters in Myer had a free make up appointment. Of course they were all booked up - and then I got a little bit angry because I felt that I was so out of practice I couldn't do a very good job anymore on my own make up.
To put this into perspective - the last time I paid someone else to do my make up I was so dissapointed in the job she did that I viwed to never pay someone again because I could do a better job myself. So - reminding myself of this. I went upstairs to the bathrooms and did my own make up.
Did I do a good job? Of course I did - I did a really good job because I know how to and I have always known how to - I had just lost the confidence in my ability to do a good job.
I am a little bit worried that I will feel like this when it comes time to shift all this baby weight next year. I did come to the conclusion that given I am halfway through (only 18 weeks to go - not that I am counting down or anything) and " they" (They - being all the baby books and bibles) say that you put on around 13 kilos of baby related weight (i.e. not fat) then I am probably carrying around 6kg of baby related weight at the moment. So of the 10 kilos I have put on only 4 of that is true weight gain. I can live with that. I believe in my ability to shift that at the end of all this.
BUT I spent sooo long forming all of these grreat exercise, eating and positive self talk habits in the past couple of years and I really do eel that I have put that all aside at the moment. Not so much the eating habits - although I am not watching what I eat (apart from the fact that it is healthy) in the slightest. More so the thinking patterns and habits I had that went with it all.
I really do hope that when it comes time to get back into it - these all come back to me. In saying that though - I will be enlisting the help of someone in a porfessional capacity and most likely setting myself a goal so that I have something to work towards.
Anyway - here is the pic from the wedding last weekend. I worked very hard at perfecting my celebrity baby bump pose.
For example.
I have a very large make up collection, I used to quite enjoy experimenting with different shades and all that. I especialy loved putting it all on and feeling great on the weekends when we went out places. For some reason I stopped doing that a little while back - I guess that I just stopped being bothered about doing it. mark is a very unfussy person and I felt the need to be a little more uncomplicated!
So last weekend, after I had been to the hairdresser and on my way to the wedding I thought I would just ask if any of the make up counters in Myer had a free make up appointment. Of course they were all booked up - and then I got a little bit angry because I felt that I was so out of practice I couldn't do a very good job anymore on my own make up.
To put this into perspective - the last time I paid someone else to do my make up I was so dissapointed in the job she did that I viwed to never pay someone again because I could do a better job myself. So - reminding myself of this. I went upstairs to the bathrooms and did my own make up.
Did I do a good job? Of course I did - I did a really good job because I know how to and I have always known how to - I had just lost the confidence in my ability to do a good job.
I am a little bit worried that I will feel like this when it comes time to shift all this baby weight next year. I did come to the conclusion that given I am halfway through (only 18 weeks to go - not that I am counting down or anything) and " they" (They - being all the baby books and bibles) say that you put on around 13 kilos of baby related weight (i.e. not fat) then I am probably carrying around 6kg of baby related weight at the moment. So of the 10 kilos I have put on only 4 of that is true weight gain. I can live with that. I believe in my ability to shift that at the end of all this.
BUT I spent sooo long forming all of these grreat exercise, eating and positive self talk habits in the past couple of years and I really do eel that I have put that all aside at the moment. Not so much the eating habits - although I am not watching what I eat (apart from the fact that it is healthy) in the slightest. More so the thinking patterns and habits I had that went with it all.
I really do hope that when it comes time to get back into it - these all come back to me. In saying that though - I will be enlisting the help of someone in a porfessional capacity and most likely setting myself a goal so that I have something to work towards.
Anyway - here is the pic from the wedding last weekend. I worked very hard at perfecting my celebrity baby bump pose.
Ahh... blissful tidy house!
Today I have spent the day tidying the house and putting everything in it's rightful place.
That basically involved unpacking the remaining boxes and doing some more chucking out. There was far too much rubbish in my life before this move. Now I have slightly more organised rubbish!
Setting up a new house is always a little bit expensive as you find the things that you are missing that you wouldn't normally think about. Like a garden hose - we didn't have one of them but they are quite handy to have around.
I have all these visions for this house - this being the first house that Mark and I have owned together. But I think that some of my visions are going to have to take time and happen slowly. Especially the fact that I have a bout $5000 worth of furniture in my head that I would love to buy right now!
I have bought a few small things like a new doona cover and some new lamps to tide me over but I do have to keep reminding myself that it is a work in progress and it doesn't all have to happen and come together at once.
My next project now that the house is unpacked is the baby's room. I have visions of how I want it to look - but first I need to see what we are getting from the cousins house. I hope to be able to do that this weekend. I have to let go of it being perfect though because to be perfect I would need it to have all white furiture - and I know for a fact that the cot is made from a blonde coloured wood. But I will make do with what I have.
I planted a tomato and a chillit today - so hopeully they grow. We also discovered that quite a few of the trees in our yard are fruit trees of some description - so I am looking forward to seeing what they yield. Next weekend I would like to buy a lemon tree and possibly a capsicum plant.
The only thing left will be managing to keep them alive!
That basically involved unpacking the remaining boxes and doing some more chucking out. There was far too much rubbish in my life before this move. Now I have slightly more organised rubbish!
Setting up a new house is always a little bit expensive as you find the things that you are missing that you wouldn't normally think about. Like a garden hose - we didn't have one of them but they are quite handy to have around.
I have all these visions for this house - this being the first house that Mark and I have owned together. But I think that some of my visions are going to have to take time and happen slowly. Especially the fact that I have a bout $5000 worth of furniture in my head that I would love to buy right now!
I have bought a few small things like a new doona cover and some new lamps to tide me over but I do have to keep reminding myself that it is a work in progress and it doesn't all have to happen and come together at once.
My next project now that the house is unpacked is the baby's room. I have visions of how I want it to look - but first I need to see what we are getting from the cousins house. I hope to be able to do that this weekend. I have to let go of it being perfect though because to be perfect I would need it to have all white furiture - and I know for a fact that the cot is made from a blonde coloured wood. But I will make do with what I have.
I planted a tomato and a chillit today - so hopeully they grow. We also discovered that quite a few of the trees in our yard are fruit trees of some description - so I am looking forward to seeing what they yield. Next weekend I would like to buy a lemon tree and possibly a capsicum plant.
The only thing left will be managing to keep them alive!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Back on it
the internet that is.
I have a look at the coming weeks and realised that I had 2 assignments due - my final 2 assignments at that. So I don't particularly want those two to be late. I just want to get them done.
So I investigated a wireless USB modem and found one at 3 mobile which I could buy outright - and not be connected to plan. It was only 129 dollars with 15 dollars for 1gig. I thought that wasn't too bad considering.
Things have settled down at home now and we have the hot water back on. I have decided that having a hot shower is one of the most luxurious things in the world and one of my favourite most relaxing things at that! So I lapped it up this morning.
So as I only have 1 gig to play with in terms of my at home internet use. I am trying to limit my non-uni related web surfing until after the uni work is done.
I am really looking forward to this weekend though. It is time to tidy and sort the study and get rid of the final boxes - which is a good thing as I can't wait to paint the feature wall in our living room so that it is no longer terracotta and more like a lovely different colour. I'm thinking either something in a berry shade or just to stick with the neutrals.....
I have a look at the coming weeks and realised that I had 2 assignments due - my final 2 assignments at that. So I don't particularly want those two to be late. I just want to get them done.
So I investigated a wireless USB modem and found one at 3 mobile which I could buy outright - and not be connected to plan. It was only 129 dollars with 15 dollars for 1gig. I thought that wasn't too bad considering.
Things have settled down at home now and we have the hot water back on. I have decided that having a hot shower is one of the most luxurious things in the world and one of my favourite most relaxing things at that! So I lapped it up this morning.
So as I only have 1 gig to play with in terms of my at home internet use. I am trying to limit my non-uni related web surfing until after the uni work is done.
I am really looking forward to this weekend though. It is time to tidy and sort the study and get rid of the final boxes - which is a good thing as I can't wait to paint the feature wall in our living room so that it is no longer terracotta and more like a lovely different colour. I'm thinking either something in a berry shade or just to stick with the neutrals.....
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Internet love
God I miss just being able to get on the internet and look up whatever it is I am thinking about at the time that needs more information.
Although it is getting closer - I know that it will definitely be another 2 weeks before we get the internet connection sorted out at home.
I can't actually get on the net that easily at wor now either because I have changed sections and now run to a strict patient schedule each day. I can access the internet in my lunch and tea breaks but at the point I am at right now. I need them for resting and eating.
I am utterly exhausted right now and I hate feeling like this. I am past the point of falling asleep if I sit still for too long and I have moved on to emotional exhaustion.
Remember back at the start of when I first moved to Canberra and the cat was driving me insane? Well we moved her to the new house last weekend and she is back at it again. Meowing through the night and scratching her litter box beyond belief. To top it off our hot water system at home kicked the bucket on Sunday and I have been having to come into work early to have lukewarm showers in the staff change room.
All that, combined with changing sections at work and not being able to 'rest' at work when I am ther because I am on my feet all day, and further deterioration of Mark's mums condition - is leaving me feeling stressed and generally crappy and I feel bad because I know that me being stressed is bad fot the baby.
I can't see an end to feeling stressed and I don't really know what to do to reverse it. The only thing I know would help is having a week off work where I don't have to do anything at all except sleep. But that is hardly possible. It sucks because last week I was feeling really good and calm and all of a sudden I am a mess emotionally from everything that is going on.
I don't even want to go away for the weekend because it is too stressful. Perhaps after the weekend - if I force myself to rest. I will start to feel better.
Although it is getting closer - I know that it will definitely be another 2 weeks before we get the internet connection sorted out at home.
I can't actually get on the net that easily at wor now either because I have changed sections and now run to a strict patient schedule each day. I can access the internet in my lunch and tea breaks but at the point I am at right now. I need them for resting and eating.
I am utterly exhausted right now and I hate feeling like this. I am past the point of falling asleep if I sit still for too long and I have moved on to emotional exhaustion.
Remember back at the start of when I first moved to Canberra and the cat was driving me insane? Well we moved her to the new house last weekend and she is back at it again. Meowing through the night and scratching her litter box beyond belief. To top it off our hot water system at home kicked the bucket on Sunday and I have been having to come into work early to have lukewarm showers in the staff change room.
All that, combined with changing sections at work and not being able to 'rest' at work when I am ther because I am on my feet all day, and further deterioration of Mark's mums condition - is leaving me feeling stressed and generally crappy and I feel bad because I know that me being stressed is bad fot the baby.
I can't see an end to feeling stressed and I don't really know what to do to reverse it. The only thing I know would help is having a week off work where I don't have to do anything at all except sleep. But that is hardly possible. It sucks because last week I was feeling really good and calm and all of a sudden I am a mess emotionally from everything that is going on.
I don't even want to go away for the weekend because it is too stressful. Perhaps after the weekend - if I force myself to rest. I will start to feel better.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Wow - Big weekend
Wow - It has been a really big weekend and I am tired!
I literally haven't stopped since I arrived in Brisbane and while it has been great catching up with all of my friends and dosing up (as I won't be able to come up again until around April most likely) - now I am tired and wishing that I also had Tuesday off work so that I would have a day to rest!
I'm not going to write too much now but I do have a pic or two to pop up in the next couple of days!
Congrats to all the girls who competed this weekend.
Baby's kicks are getting stronger and stronger. He is cute and I found out that he likes to dance (or kick) along to Maori music!
I literally haven't stopped since I arrived in Brisbane and while it has been great catching up with all of my friends and dosing up (as I won't be able to come up again until around April most likely) - now I am tired and wishing that I also had Tuesday off work so that I would have a day to rest!
I'm not going to write too much now but I do have a pic or two to pop up in the next couple of days!
Congrats to all the girls who competed this weekend.
Baby's kicks are getting stronger and stronger. He is cute and I found out that he likes to dance (or kick) along to Maori music!
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